The two of us dance to a new rhythm this year, almost as if in a new relationship. I haven’t had this much one on one time with one of my boys since Lincoln was a baby. This much one on one time with a three old is a completely new experience for me. Most days I’m left feeling frustrated and drained…before it’s even noon. I know it’s just a phase, at least I keep repeating that to myself, but oh how this child is a handful in a new and different way than I’ve experienced with the other two. And to be in it alone, with no brothers to buffer this…energy, well, I’m looking forward to the weekends in a way I never had before. I had envisioned the two of us as more of in a honeymoon phase – soaking up this time together, getting to do new and different things.
And yet, as frustrating as this time can be, I’m soaking it all in. Because soon, before I’m ready for it, all three boys will be in school and my days will be ringing with silence. And at this very moment, a part of me thinks that sounds amazingly wonderful, but mostly, it makes my heart ache. I love this age and stage so much. I often question what could possibly be wrong with me that the toddler/preschool age seems to be what I love. This exhausting, frustrating, draining, whining, battle-of-the-wills stage is where I would choose to freeze time if I could.
Because it’s also filled with so much laughter, so much exploring, so much wonderment. There’s the joy of learning new things. And being satisfied by the smallest of things. And being excited by the simplest things – like snails in the back of an old toy pickup. These are the things that I will remember and cherish. And wish for when I have three school age boys. Even if it means it comes with a lot of battles and sleepless nights, I’ll take it.
Here’s a sweet little video that Caitlin made one afternoon while she was hanging out with Levi…oh this boy. 🙂
And now I’m off to plow fields on my couch with tiny tractors and my sweet little handful of a guy…