So this past weekend started off with a little brother wetting the bed and me having to climb through an elaborate blanket fort to remove him and a pile of wet blankets. Twelve hours after washing a few loads of pee blankets, my brand new computer hard drive would die after being replaced just two weeks prior. Again losing all information I had on there, including 6 blog shoots and over 2000 iPhone photos that I had to clear off my phone last week so I could finally do the software update. Sigh. Sunday morning would bring a broken car and Monday morning, I would work my entire shift at the office before realizing it was actually a paid holiday.
So what I’m saying is, there was a lot of crying and feeling frustrated. But a verse from Matthew kept coming to my mind throughout the weekend:
“Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are?”
At some points it’s so hard to believe I’m far more valuable to him. I was seriously struggling to feel like God cared for me this weekend. I tend to have pretty bad luck especially when it comes to big purchases like cars and electronics. So when bad things start happening to them, I’m pretty sensitive because I’ve been in that same place so many times already. It always feels like I would work so hard on the path that I feel that God wants me on and yet I end up back in the same place.
Last night, without the distraction of normal blog activities, I got to thinking about that verse and about what my weekend truly looked like versus what a failure I viewed it as based on what my expectations for it… I got to spend Saturday exploring the city with three dear friends then snuggling with sweet babies and then laughing the night away with my cousin. Sunday I got to take an hour long bath, have my first shamrock shake of the season, and see my big brother. Yesterday I got to spend the afternoon playing dominos with my little brothers and our grandpa, things worked out with my car, and the night ended with a york peppermint pattie the size of my head from my cousin and her fiancé. Alright. How can I complain about the other things when this is what I get to call my life?
So today I’m choosing to feel thankful and praying that God will continue to give me strength to keep moving along even when I can’t understand his plan. And I’m reminding myself that blessings usually come in forms other than being able to cross things off my to-do list in a timely manner (I don’t know how I always get confused about this… but I do.) and taking the time to soak up those blessings is so much more important.
Also this post is really giving you all a heads up that posts won’t be going as planned for the next few days! Broken computers and blogging don’t pair very well.